I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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