Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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