i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
