the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Im part way to drunk.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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