No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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