Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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