i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
