hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
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