all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I DEMAND FORESKIN
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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