Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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