I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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