I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
