You're my little dorito
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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