he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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