Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize