2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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