playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
