It's Friday. Sex?
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
