They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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