we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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