I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
