Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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