Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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