Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
