It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
