my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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