Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize