I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
