Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
