I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Randomize
