Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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