am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
