wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
