I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
