That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
