Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
