Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Randomize
