I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
