i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize