Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
