Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
