D3 body, D1 cock
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
