I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
