my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
My penis needs a shock collar
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
