She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize
