are you so shy because you have an std?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
