the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize