New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
