Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
3pm strippers are depressing
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
