Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
