sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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