You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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