currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
They are going to name an STD after you.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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