He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
