jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
