We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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