Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
