I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
