so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
