next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
