But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
The air taste purple.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
