During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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