the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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