btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
