when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
