they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize