oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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