I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Randomize
