By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
This is the high leading the old right now
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
