you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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