I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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