he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Just high enough for therapy.
You're a waste of cheezeits
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Randomize
