Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
