Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
