so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
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