I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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