I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
You can't motorboat a personality
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
