no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
