she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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