He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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