dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
We had sex on a dog bed..
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
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