a queef is a wish your heart makes.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
