There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
