And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
