I'm jealous of your bromance
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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