I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
