marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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