We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
