Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I think people are normalizing furries
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize