she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
