Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize