What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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