so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Randomize
